Entering and exiting the Mens circle
Men do not like being told what to do. But worse is not knowing what to do. We are acculturated to be strong and then demands to be vulnerable are pushed upon us by family, work, and partners. We are educated to not cry and then shamed for not having feelings. In a mens group I strive for us all to find the contradictions of these imputed ironies to guide a new relationship to power. Through mindful, kindness-conflict activities, clarification of experiences and each members needs, we forge a new relationship, in practice, with other men. This experientially based experience has led all the participants in such groups to find new levels of power, humility, integrity, kindness, love, vulnerability and community integration. Often resolving damaging issues of addiction, rage, loneliness, insatiable desire and cyclic dissatisfaction. No man entering a group has been able to avoid feelings of ambivalence, even terror at the notion of sharing a space with other men, but more importantly no man has left without having a deeply transformative experience and carrying a rich, WholeMan perspective with them from such a group
The group strives to power share, honesty being paramount; inner and outer integrity and emotional transparency set the foundation of a new experience of 'male energy'. No one person has any institutional power over another in the group; albeit, the men will bring in all the rank and shame from their experience. Through honest dialogue, and kind feedback, we revision the dynamics of introversion and fear, extroversion and domination, as it plays out in the inner circle of the group.
New paradigm Insight:
An Empowered, Feminist Man
Many men are being raised as consciously or unconsciously rejecting patriarchy and men's violence. Many men understand and reject the paradigms of make privilege and misogyny. Further many white folks reject the same dynamic between race and power; these apply also to issues of class and sexual orientation of course. But how do we really transform the deep rooted, mostly unconscious systems we have taken into our selves? How can we hand off or give away our privilege, our power? We must not attempt to rid ourselves of it; to awaken, through daily awareness practice of our entrained behaviors, our beliefs and micro-aggressions we can transform this power into a risk taking, kindness spreading nonviolent resistor of the inner and outer manifestations of oppression. It is by owning our power, and then actively giving it away, sharing it because of deep knowledge of how it operates, that we can stop using it unconsciously. Attempting to pretend it is not there, only makes it go back underground where it can in fact again cause damage. And further we can unpack the ways that we are injured into being these types of men, as no one is born an oppressor, and it is NOT the natural state of humans. We achieved this human life by being kind and considerate, by having a drive toward compassion and mind that is extremely sensitive. If this seems like too much, please know that this is not a requirement of working with me, but a competency that one can engage should they want to.