The Whole Man
Change and Creativity Coach

Couples

some initial thoughts on coupling

 

LOVE

being connected by knowing what another's experience is, without needing to have them share your reality is a relief. Love is loving oneself enough to not have to push an agenda, loving your own being, makes room for you to be loved by another as you are not living in an 'empty house'

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CONFLICT

If the individuals of the partnership are committed to being individuals, than both must be ready to engage in a healthy exchange of difference at any moment. And being separate, healthy and strong selves, leads to greater peace, satisfaction and connection.

Clarity is greater than resolution

a greater goal for couples is deepening understanding of each others reality without attempting to agree on reality. When each member of the couple can accept the others experience, and in that way actually want to know what their experience is, rather than focusing on having the other share their own reality, the relationship and intimacy ironically can deepen. Focusing on what the other's experience is, what they actually hear, feel, see, and experience, makes the space for both parties to be more fully aware of reality. and reality always wins!